At this point in my life 29 , I was living through my emotions and not through me, my mind was mentally wrapped around on how I can please my boyfriend enough to love me the way I loved him , while jugging with pressure of school and work.
This day was a day of my breakout. In this time I was overwhelmed and fed up from what was all going on around me. I was on my way out to let it all go, then boom, a heated argument, shortly after the WHITE FLASH HITS AND SKERTED TIRES.
Wake up in a hospital, surrounded by family, unaware what was going on. Then I remembered, what a horrible time this was, spending time in a place that u have to be in because of your condition, learning to redo what you grew to do is mind bottling. I was in a paralyzed mind of depression, pain, resentment. However manage to still be strong.
Appreciating the life I have, but at the same time confused and mad, I was operating one way in a split of second made me operate in a different way. I was not the same me because that traumatic accident changed me. I was different and seem to did not fit in.
Feeling alone, all though surrounded by many. Seen the stress of what I felt was my fault, experiencing ptsd , trying to keep my head up. Trying to make moves without support. I had to do me and others did not see it that way.
It all worked out in my favor. The ones that doubted came to their senses of why I did what I had to do. Now everyone can breathe and have a fresh start.
Going backwards without noticing because I was trying to numb the pain and forget about what happened to me. Started hanging swanging back in the streets.
A man I came to revisit, my ex, the ex that wasn't there, the ex that I wanted to love me the way I loved him. My hate turned back into love. I was looking so deep into the love, that once again had my mind.
I had to get my mind right for ME. I had to let go of him, it wasn't easy , still hurts but I LOVE ME MORE. I am my focus.